When you find yourself in a situation you don't like, you have four basic options: ✅ Accept it ✅ Change it ✅ Leave it ❌ Or keep suffering We usually start behind Door #4, which is how we know something's wrong in the first place. But staying there isn’t noble.…
Real listening doesn’t start until the other person feels heard. 🪞 That’s why mirroring is so powerful. It’s when you take what they said, put it in your own words, and reflect it back: 💬 “So what I hear you saying is…” 💬 “Did I get that right?” It’s not…
It’s not the elephant in the room that makes things weird. It’s pretending the elephant isn't there. Because what breaks connection isn’t discomfort — it’s pretense. So when you sense something unsaid hanging in the air, try just naming it. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can be as…
The next time you’re in a tense conversation, try asking yourself: 💭 Am I reacting? Or am I responding? The difference is night and day. ⚡ A reaction is automatic. It’s emotional. It happens to you. It’s what happens when your amygdala takes the wheel. You snap, shut down, or…
Before having a tough conversation, ask yourself: Why am I really doing this? We often have multiple motives — some helpful, some… not so much. ☀️ Sometimes our reasons are constructive: ✅ “I care about this relationship.” ✅ “I want to clear the air.” ✅ “I’m hoping to learn something…
The most effective feedback is clear, kind, and forward-focused. If you want feedback to land (without triggering defensiveness), focus on three things: 🔹 Clarity: Be specific, not vague. 🔹 Impact over intent: Avoid assumptions about their motives. Instead, share how it affected you. 🔹 Forward-focus: Don’t dwell on what went…
When a conversation gets uncomfortable, that doesn't always mean something's wrong. It can mean it’s going just right. When you’re opening up, being vulnerable, and exploring things that matter... there's likely to be some discomfort. 💡 That’s not a problem to fix. It’s a sign that you’re getting real. Discomfort…
The highest level of emotional maturity is listening for the signal through the noise. Sometimes feedback is delivered poorly — loaded with frustration, criticism, or blame. And when that happens, your brain does what it’s wired to do: 😤 Get defensive 😠 Push back 🙅 Shut down But if you…
🧠 I've come to think of communication as a product. When I put on my Product Manager hat, I ask: 👥 Who am I talking to? ➡️That's my User Avatar. 🛠️ What are they going to do with this information? ➡️That's the Use Case. 📦 How can I package it…
Ever talk to someone and realize they’re not really listening — they’re just waiting their turn to speak? Ever done that to someone else...? Yeah. That’s not real listening. Real listening has two goals: 🧠 To truly understand the other person, and 💡 To have them feel understood. That second…
Most conversations don’t fall apart because of disagreement. They fall apart because of misunderstanding. People talk past each other. They argue positions without knowing if they’re even talking about the same thing. One of the most powerful tools in healthy dialogue is this: 🧭 Find the shared reality. ❌ Not…
Life will deliver precisely the amount of BS (dysfunction, chaos, unreasonable demands, etc.) that you’re willing to tolerate. No more, because by definition, you're not willing to tolerate more. But also no less, because... well, wouldn't that be nice? So if you’re experiencing consistent overwhelm, frustration, or drama, take a…
Let’s be honest: the “compliment sandwich” kind of sucks. It often feels fake, forced, and condescending. You can tell when someone’s buttering you up — and it doesn’t feel honest. It feels manipulative. So what’s better? Try this 5-part feedback framework: S-B-I-R-C. 🔹 S – Situation: Anchor your feedback in…
🔍 Episode Summary: Have you ever gotten lost in the clouds of abstract language—or buried under too much detail? Welcome to the Ladder of Abstraction. In this episode, Chris and Patrick explore how this powerful concept shapes every conversation you have. Whether you're talking about a specific cow named Bessie…
🔍 Episode Summary: You know those conversations where someone gives you an answer that’s technically correct… but still leaves you confused, misled, or frustrated? In this episode, Chris and Patrick introduce four unwritten rules for clear communication—based on philosopher H.P. Grice’s famous “Maxims of Conversation.” These rules govern how we…
🔍 Episode Summary: Setting boundaries is essential—but for many people, it feels uncomfortable, guilt-inducing, or downright scary. In this episode, Chris and Patrick unpack the art of boundary-setting in a way that’s honest, kind, and clear (and occasionally funny). They explore why saying “yes” too much can leave you depleted,…
Some conversations change the course of your life—and you don’t always see them coming. But when you do know in advance that a conversation could be high stakes, what do you do with that knowledge? In this episode, Chris and Patrick introduce the CPR framework: a simple, powerful method for…
In a world of curated highlight reels and shallow small talk, real connection can feel like a lost art. In this episode, Chris and Patrick argue that deep, meaningful connection requires us to be a little messy, a little vulnerable, and a lot more intentional. They explore why we often…
🎙️ Episode Summary: In this episode of Making Yourself Clear, Chris and Patrick take on one of the most misunderstood and misused tools in communication: feedback. They begin by rejecting the outdated “compliment sandwich” and offer a fresh, practical perspective on what actually makes feedback land—and what makes it awkward…
In this episode, Chris and Patrick dive deep into the art of genuine apologies. They explore why most apologies fail, the anatomy of a real apology, and how to avoid common pitfalls when apologizing. The hosts emphasize that effective apologies aren't about relieving your own guilt but about acknowledging harm,…
In this episode, Chris and Patrick dive deep into the art of genuine apologies. They explore why most apologies fail, the anatomy of a real apology, and how to avoid common pitfalls when apologizing. The hosts emphasize that effective apologies aren't about relieving your own guilt but about acknowledging harm,…
In this episode, we explore the five levels of listening and how they impact communication, relationships, and personal growth. The discussion covers the importance of deep listening, common barriers, and techniques to enhance listening skills. Listeners will gain insights into how they can become more present and engaged in conversations,…
Chris and Patrick explore strategies for discussing heated topics with people you strongly disagree with. They emphasize the importance of understanding why you want to have such conversations, preparing for emotional triggers, and having a game plan. They recommend being intentional about your mindset — advocating dialogue over debate, perspectives…
Chris and Patrick discuss the pitfalls of the suggestion "let's agree to disagree" in arguments, highlighting that it often leaves one or more parties feeling unheard and frustrated. They emphasize the need for mutual understanding before reaching such a conclusion. They argue that "agree to disagree" often signals the end…